Thursday, July 05, 2007
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Say "I'll Wait" to iPhone
No, I didn't get an iPhone. I just figured I'd jump on the bandwagon and do an iPhone post.
Actually, I'm as enamoured with the iPhone as anyone else. It's just that I've made it rule of thumb to wait out major tech releases as I don't have wads of cash to throw unto the feet of Stevie Jobs and his empire which I have been actively defending since, oh, about 1987 or so.
Shit, for that alone I feel that I should get one for free. Chew on that for a moment: Apple gave each of its Apple Store employees (does this deal extend to ALL Apple employees?) who've been in their positions for over a year a free iPhone, and the 8Gb version at that. Narrow that down a bit: Apple gave free iPhones to people they pay anyway. Maybe they should giving something to those of us who have been paying them for, um, about twenty years!
Anyway, it was just a fleeting thought. Which makes me think of Fleet enemas. Oh, and www.fleet.com takes you to Bank of America. No shit (no pun intended).
So yeah, the iPhone... Xeni Jardin's iPhone release day post at Boing Boing pretty much is the perfect pro and con statement for/against the iPhone, though more for than against. The iPhone aside, there is one glimmering line of prose that seems prophetic while scaring the shit out of me at the same time; When addressing the iPhone touch interface, she belches forth this nugget:
"I wish I could do this on every electronic device I own. I wish Apple would release a tablet with this on it."
It's that last part that sticks. Are we going to see a 30" iMac sans keyboard that you would pull to the edge of your desk and actually type on the screen, "pinch" images in Photoshop to resize them and "fingerpaint" in Illustrator to draw Bézier curves? The thought is terrifying. To my wallet, I mean.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Gaijin Monkeys in Japan
Actually, Mike posted the original version of this image in his "About the Author" box, and I couldn't help messing with it. Looks like a couple of crazy drunken village dwarves I saw at the Hounen Matsuri in 2002... They were alot of fun, those guys. I hope they're still around. If anyone sees this and was there this year, let me know if you saw a couple of crazy little guys causing trouble and hitting people up for money to buy Sake One Cups. I'll try to post a photo of them later.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
All Hail Gaijin in Japan
Having an impromptu Skype-a-thon with Mike at Gaijin in Japan today while I'm working. More of a soundscape, actually. I don't have my mic here, and he's drinkin' shochu, so I can hear him puttering around his room, rustling papers and drunkily farting now and again.
He hit our webcam and posted a shot of us flying the bird. Now that's multitasking!
Monday, June 25, 2007
The Definition of Handicapped
Yeah, I blurred the URL. Whaddya think, I'm gonna give them a link on my dime?
Saturday, June 23, 2007
We were last there in May 2000, a little over year before the shit hit the fan down on the south end of Manhattan. I guess you could say it was a different time then... Certainly not a more "innocent" time by any means, but just... Different.
Been There, Done That
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Gaijin in Japan Talkcast
I've been appointed to bring the beer, which is fine with me 'cos that means I get to drink it all, too.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Hocus Pocus Really Fast
Friday, April 13, 2007
Puchi Bruce is My New Hero
I don't know why he does what he does, and I'm probably the last guy on the Internet to hear about him, but Puchi Bruce is my new hero. And I've never even seen any of the Die Hard movies... Just knowing there's a Japanese guy who looks like a Japanese Bruce Willis and makes Bruce Willis movie send-ups is enough for me.
How about a Bruce Willis and Wesley Willis mashup? Whatchou talkin' about, Willis?
I nearly shit myself laughing at the first half of this video.
Cool Old Sluggo-Oriented Shit Found on the Web
Anyway, the Cream Castle is a throwback to the car hop hamburger and fries era. Though it has seen it glory days pass, it was still in operation the last time I passed through Sikeston, and hopefully will continue to do so.
As for the Paul Eakins' Gay 90s Museum, here is a link to the website that sells recordings of the music machines that were the source of his passion.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Hey, Nice Hat
How ya like me now?
211 hickman avenue, columbia, missouri 1988
Friday, April 06, 2007
No Contact Lenses for You
My eyes suck. I can barely focus on small text any longer, and routinely catch myself squinting like a blind bastard when trying to read magazines, newpapers, paperbacks, what have you. This is what 20+ years of sitting staring at computer monitors under brash fluorescent lighting does to you.
So recently, I ventured to the eye doctor to get a prescription for glasses. I decided that I wanted to try contacts as an alternative, so I was sent over to the inhouse optician to be fitted with "trial" lenses. I was told I would need training in how to properly put them in, take them out, spit-shine them, etc., to which I agreed. I was told to wash my hands and have a seat. Ten minutes later, a lady came out and told me that they would have to special order the contacts as I have astigmatism. No problem, I would just come back later.
They called me this past Wednesday to inform me that the lenses were ready, and that I could come in anytime. Now, the person on the other end of the line was the same person who said she would order the lenses, and the same person who knew I needed contact lens "training." Just to make sure I understood what she was saying , I asked again, "...And I can come anytime for this? (this meaning the contact lens instruction)" She said yes.
Since the eye doctor told me I should try the contacts over the weekend so that I wouldn't have the demands of work while adjusting to them, I thought coming in on Friday would be a good thing. I even called to make sure they were open over the mid-day lunch period, which they happily informed they were.
So I head over hoping to do my "training" and come back to work with possibly clearer vision and irritated eyes. I was actually excited about this prospect! The same lady who had ordered the lenses and told me I would need instruction before taking my new eyes greeted me and went to get the lenses. Upon return, she looked at my paperwork and said, "Oh wait... You've never had contact lenses? We'll have to make you an appointment for training." I reminded her she had told me on the phone that I could come in anytime for that, to which she answered, "Oh, you can pick them up anytime, but you'll need an appointment for training!"
I'm sure the look I gave her, though I remained courteous, let her know what I was thinking.
"Okay," I said, "Let's make an appointment then. I guess I misunderstood."
She replied that maybe she didn't explain things clearly. Then I told her that I had come on Friday because the doctor said trying the lenses over the weekend would be a good idea. She hemmed and hawed for a moment and said, "Well I guess I could walk you through it. Lets have you wash your hands and have a seat." I thought to myself for a moment about deja vu, then proceeded to wash my hands.
After a few minutes, she came back with the little yellow and blue boxes containing my contacts. Again she looked at my paperwork and frowned. "Oh, you have astigmatism. That's different, I can't show you how to handle these."
Though I wasn't meaning to show it, I stared her down with a look that said "Bitch, are you for real?*"
Then she followed with, "Well, the doctor isn't in today anyway, and he likes to be here to work with you in these situations."
"I'm learning all these new things that nobody has bothered to tell me before," I said, losing the will to be Mr. Nice Guy. "Maybe I should come back for that appointment when there is someone here who can help me. Thank you."
I left. With very clean hands.
I'm still thinking that I should call them back and tell them to roll those contacts up and shove them in a tight spot.
* Kudos to Dolemite
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
raccoon and shoes, oh my
hey, um... i found your crack pipe
FOUND: Crack pipe, looks to be heavily used, found on Red Cliff Drive in Austin, Texas.
You find the damndest things on the street. Last week I found $26 on the sidewalk, this week a crackpipe. What will it be next week?
Speaking of which, there has been a roadkill raccoon on Kramer Lane stinking up my walk for the past few days. Yesterday I noticed a shoe laying on top of it. Today I realized it's a pair of running shoes. How odd.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
The Power of Unchikun Compels Me
Friday, September 08, 2006
Porn Dogs, anyone? Dick on a Stick maybe?
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Right Place, Right Time
Friday, September 01, 2006
Hello Durian: The Not-So-Delicious Smell of Armpit Corpse Farts
We left them in the breakroom/kitchenette area, package open so everyone could enjoy the aroma. Then someone got the wise idea of stowing some of the wafers in *****'s office, strategically place under the piles of paper and press proofs littering the room. Later, the culprit figured a Nestea Plunge of sorts was in order, and moved the whole package into *****'s office, placing them under his desk and behind a computer where they will be nice and warm over the three-day weekend.
Oh yeah, and then somehow the door got closed.
Below is a photo of this culinary landmine laying in wait for its victim to arrive on a sure-to-be-hungover-from-a-long-weekend Tuesday.